How can you coach a manager who is resistant to feedback or gets defensive?

To effectively coach a manager who is resistant to feedback or becomes defensive, it is important to recognize that defensiveness and resistance often stem from fear and insecurity. The coach’s role is to look beyond surface-level emotions and support the manager in uncovering the root causes of their reactions.

Steps to Handle This Situation:

1. Acknowledge Strengths First
   Start by affirming that the manager’s strengths have enabled them to achieve their current role and success. This approach helps the manager feel valued and more receptive to coaching.
2. Identify Weaknesses as Barriers to Growth
   Once their strengths are recognized, introduce the idea that unaddressed weaknesses may be what is holding them back from reaching their full potential. Shifting the conversation towards identifying these weaknesses can open the door to meaningful self-discovery.
3. Facilitate Self-Discovery
   Guide the manager to explore their weaknesses through reflective questions and supportive dialogue. Helping them recognize these areas themselves can make feedback less confrontational and more empowering.

By taking this approach, coaches can help managers move past defensiveness and resistance, unlocking growth and development through a balance of acknowledging strengths and addressing weaknesses.