Unless you’re the one doing the hiring, it’s unlikely you get to choose who you’ll be working with on various teams and projects. In some cases, it’s likely you’ll work with someone who, frankly, you truly dislike.

Of course, this speaks to a bigger issue – the importance of considering an organization’s culture to determine your fit, before accepting a job. So before signing the new hire contract, investigate: What type of people do they hire? Or if you’re in management, what type of characteristics do you look for in new hires?

Once you’ve signed the contract and are part of an organization, working with a peer you dislike could actually be a great move for your career. Look at it as a learning experience! How, you may ask? Because as you analyze this individual’s behavior, you become more self-aware of your triggers and learn how to manage them under fire. Harvard Business Review published an article that gives you six tips to get through the day with this type of colleague.

1. Responding to your co-worker: Though you can’t control your co-worker, you can control how you respond to that person. If you’ve identified the patterns in their behavior, then you probably can anticipate some of their actions and how you want to respond.
2. Don’t gossip or gripe within office: In an office, word gets around fast. You probably wouldn’t want others complaining about you to others, so don’t gossip about others. If you just need to get something off your chest talk to someone who doesn’t work in your company. It will keep your own reputation intact. If you do need to talk to someone within the office, talk directly to your co-worker first (see #5); if that solves nothing and it becomes more serious, then talk to HR or your boss.
3. What exactly bothers you? Can you pinpoint it? Maybe it’s actually your own personal distaste or jealousy that’s bothering you. Figure it out.
4. Spend time with them. Who are they and why do they react the way they do? Chances are, there’s a bigger story behind what you see at work.  Eat lunch with them, work on a project together, get some coffee and try to set aside your differences.
5. Give feedback. Only if you can do it tactfully, of course. Approach them with an open mind and be able to explain exactly what is bothering you. Be prepared to receive feedback as well. Who knows, you may be doing something to bother them as well.
6. Detach emotionally. Can’t change anything? Then change your attitude so that the person doesn’t bother you as much. Don’t take the person’s behavior so personally; use it as a learning experience for future positions. It will make you more self-aware of your own workplace behavior.

Even though you can’t change people, you can always try to understand yourself better and manage your emotions at work. Have you ever had to work with someone you didn’t get along with? Were you able to overcome these barriers? How so? Did anything mentioned above help? 

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